Thursday, December 01, 2005


The long drive home. Who sleeps like that?!

Okay, so it wasn't all barfing in South Carolina, as you can see if you click on my Flickr badge. The following are highlights:

#1 most awesomest thing evah - After our date night at the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular, Andy and I went to one of those participatory, dueling piano bars. Cute. Liked it a lot. Very talented piano-singer performers. Weird crowd, though, composed of 20-somethings, yet also the more swinging and drunken members of the senior set. When I took a bathroom break (which is a whole story unto itself), Andy was approached by some late 40s-ish woman, who basically asked him to sell her some pot. HA! Andy was dressed like a respectable citizen, totally normal and all, yet she must have sensed the hippy boy of yore just underneath the surface. He told her she was about 10 years too late.

This makes me unreasonably happy for some reason.

Highlight #2 - Aunt Bev and Uncle Joe, in lieu of the family they left behind in Indiana, have fashioned a family of sorts out of their geriatric neighbors. They all came over for Thanksgiving, which was very sweet. I fell completely in love with Dick, their striking older gentleman neighbor, who had an air of bygone romance about him, and something regal. Also, he was terribly good with the boys. And quite clearly was pining in silence for his deceased wife. In addition, he was HOTT, in that elegant old man sort of way. LOVE!

Sadly, pretty much immediately following the tasty supper, I made the mistake of sitting on the sofa, and promptly fell asleep sitting up, in the middle of a room full of old folks who I would normally very much enjoy charming. Old folks are my speciality. So that was a mildly embarrassing gaffe.

Highlight #3 - Hanging out at the chilly, yet picturesque and largely tourist-free beach, letting the kids dip their toes in the Atlantic, and watching Charlotte run around in utter joy.

Highlight #4 - Charlotte was in a crib in our room, while the boys shared a sofa bed in another. In the mornings, the boys would wake up and go hang out with Aunt Bev. When Charlotte woke up, we'd just open the door to our room, set her in the hallway, and allow her to toddle her way into the front room, where Aunt Bev would welcome her happily. Then, we would shut the door, and GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!! HEAVEN!

Highlight #5 - The Dixie Stampede, of course!


Well, Simon LOVED it, but Andy and I were underwhelmed. Maybe it was the whole eating-without-utensils thing, or maybe it was the ridiculous quantities of meat they shoved at us (whole chickens! 4 chunks of barbecued pork!), or maybe it was just the sheer cheese-tastic-ness of the "show," but we sort of couldn't believe how much money people pay for this. Simon got to drink Pepsi (he NEVER gets soft drinks, EVER) out of a mason jar. He was sold.

Highlight #6 - Eating Aunt Bev's famous, patented, colored pancakes, prepared by the hostess with Simon's help. Food-coloring-licious!

Highlight #7 - Aunt Bev gave me a fabulous vintage black velvet cape WITH A MARABOU-LINED HOOD. Holy samoley. My vintage coat fetish was gratified in the most extravagant way. Oh, and also she gave me one of those cute cigar-box purses. Stuff! For me!

Highlight #8 - My triple-layer chocolate pumpkin pie, which is really more like a cheesecake, and is SOOOOO delicious. And I loathe pumpkin pie. And it worked, and looked really impressive, and so I appeared to all the senior citizens like some kind of domestic goddess person, all cooking pies early on Thanksgiving morning. Until I fell asleep, that is.

Highlight #9 - I knew Aunt Bev would lose it when we left. She misses us so terribly, and she's such a sweet lady, and all week long she just kept thanking me profusely for coming to visit, and letting her spend time getting to know us better, and on and on... So when we were all fastened into the van, about to drive away, and Aunt Bev was blowing kisses in the van door at the kids, Simon, my sweet boy, blew one at her and said, "This one is for your pocket, Aunt Bev, so you won't get lonely."

Dear lord.

I expected her heart to surf into our van on a wave of tears, and wave a cheerful farewell to the shell of her body remaining on the driveway.
It was very very touching and I just have to say, Simon has a way with the words and the timing. It's like he's learning tenderness from his older brother, and combining it with his own innate flair for showmanship, and it's quite something. I've never heard this before, and I didn't coach him, I swear. I'm not being cynical, either. He's like some precociously loving, winsome Dickens character. That story will go down in the annals of history. At this moment, in fact, part-time substitute teacher ladies all over Myrtle Beach are passing this tale of exquisite cuteness amongst themselves.

Highlight #10 - Finally getting home after the 14 hour drive back, having only stopped for lunch and dinner. And there was no barfing and Charlotte only cried once.

I'm glad we went, but it's always nice to come home. Poor Spooky missed us so much!

I've been remiss in my blogging this week, but I'm still recovering. My Uncle Bert story is cooking up a storm there on my back burner, and it's about to boil over. I've sort of been avoiding it, because I know it will cause me to experience some rather vivid emotions, and I haven't been quite ready yet. But it's coming...


Blogger philbug said...

could you BE any cuter on the beach (ala chandler bing from friends) . I really think I could use a little insulin!

9:34 PM  
Blogger philbug said...

I'm just gonna puke. I have the most beautiful niece in the whole world, but damn if that little fairy/pixie girl ain't the cutestest!

9:36 PM  
Blogger grudge girl said...

Awwww Philbug! Thanks so much! The kidlets are pretty darn adorable, if I do say so myself. Of course, you ain't bad yer own self, ya know.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Candace said...

Oh lord, the heart-wrenching sweetness of what Simon said. I think I'm going to have to steal him someday.

OH! Better thought! Let's betrothe Simon and Sophie! How cute is that! "Simon and Sophie"!!

6:59 AM  
Blogger yucaree said...

ian may be able to do sudoku, but he is not nearly as good with words as simon is. the absolute sweetness of what he said totally melted my heart! he must be a total darling.

3:04 PM  

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