Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Saran Wrap Solution

We've all been passing around this gross, snotty, heinous cold/flu bug here at Casa Barnes. Andy, with his year-round allergies, produces even more mucus than Simon and Charlotte put together. Plus, he's sort of gross, in a grody-boy sort of way. Like he has black banana peels on the gear-shift console in his car, and, like, gnarly wrappers strewn here and there, and grapefruit rinds in the spare-change holder. You get the picture. Homeless. It looks like some gag-worthy, semi-mental person lives in his car.

Mucus + grodyboy = NO!!!!!

For quite a while now, Andy has been hocking up giant, water-resistant phlegm-globbers in the bathtub/shower, in the morning before work, and then leaving them there for me to find when I open the curtain for my shower. Every once in a while there's one in the sink as well.


And I've asked nicely for him to stop doing this, aim for the toilet, or clean up after himself. It hasn't worked. Let us just say that during this particularly mucus-y illness, the plegm has gotten OUT OF HAND! Every morning, I had to steel myself to open up that shower curtain in the morning. It was like a horror movie. What would I find? What bloody, gelatinous, nauseating blob would I be faced with? AAAAAAAAAGH!!!

So Friday night I stayed up after sickie was in bed, and when he was fast asleep, I Saran-wrapped the bathtub. And the bathroom sink. And attached signs that read, like, PHLEGM with a big circle around it and a big NOT slash through it. And PHLEGM VERBOTEN!

Hee! I was pretty darn proud of myself, I have to say.

I think I've finally made my point. He says he can't help getting all loogie-d up in the shower, because of the heat and humidity, but at least now he's cleaning up after himself.



Blogger Tracy Lynn said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Saran wrap! Right on! Dude, you slay me.
Wish I could say that was something I would have thougt of....

1:41 PM  
Blogger yucaree said...

hee hee hee! that is so funny!! gross and funny. if JR did that i woulda scooped up the phlegm and left it for him on his pillow.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Marti said...

ROFL! You rock so hard... you're so metal!

10:15 PM  
Blogger Daisy Mae said...

Oh man, I am going to puke! And you know why? Because my eldest son was like that when he lived at home. I was so glad when he started taking allergy shots. And hockers? OMG! It was soooo disgusting. I was so glad when he moved out on his own.

And furthermore, there is nothing so disgusting as a hocker that has been spat into the bathroom sink that you don;t find until hours later when it has tried to cement and has to be scraped off. Kill me now!

8:16 PM  
Blogger grudge girl said...

marti, i AM metal! HEE!

8:20 PM  
Anonymous Noel said...

I believe everyone must look at this.

9:14 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home