Monday, October 24, 2005

I'm Jo March

Am I a mommy blogger? At what point did I become a mommy blogger?

I set out to write this blog to exorcise my many personal grudge demons, so that I could escape the endless tape loop in my head, the one filled with the scripts of stuff I wish I'd said, and stuff I will say if ever I have the chance.

I've managed to purge a few. It is now easier to go to sleep at night. Thank you, internets, for contributing to my sanity quotient.

But I've still got a couple of WHOPPERS ricocheting around in my psyche, and threatening to bust out as we near the holiday season. These grudges involve my horrible Uncle Bert, and his daughter, my cousin Sarah. They are very long stories indeed, and pretty soon I might have to lay them down in some installment posts, because they can be crippling. Last year, for example, I single-handedly ruined Christmas. Because I'm so immature. According to my mother.

Just wait.

But one thing that blogging has helped me to realize is that my life is definitely composed of a greater measure of joy than of pain, mostly because of the family I've created with Andy, and the great big ball of hilarity and sleeplessness and annoyance and happiness that that entails.

I mean, in between the grudge catharses, I ended up documenting the random funny and/or freaky elements of my daily life as mom and wife. And these seem to have asserted themselves as foremost in this blog.

And that's... ok.

It is! It's so weird, to have once been this person who didn't even like kids, who felt so completely lame and retarded around them, and to have gradually become this total whizbang pro that I am today. I can multi-task like a supercomputer; nourish my kids' bodies, minds, and souls; and still retain a fairly significant cool factor.

So I have learned, much like everyone's favorite _Little Women_ protagonist, (well, I personally like Amy best, because Meg is boring and Beth- sigh- is insipidly and gag-worthily angelic, but whatEVER. JoJoJo!), to write what I know.

And I know mommy stuff.

I'm more than that, of course. We all are. I'm friend, and wife, and teacher, and artsy-fartsy girl, and bookworm, and black sheep, and geek, and scaredy-cat, and traveler, and fabulous diva, and loyal sister/daughter/sister-in-law, and writer.

I'm a writer.

Blogging has helped me realize that I'm MORE than just a grudge girl. I used to feel like all that emotional baggage and anger defined me. Writing this blog every day has helped me to uncover and discover the truth that I was living in all the time.

Ain't art grand?


Blogger Tracy Lynn said...

Isn't it amazing how the act of expression can totally redefine you?
This shit saves my soul on a daily basis, and I never expected that.
Actually, I'm not sure what I expected....
You go, girl!

6:34 AM  
Blogger yucaree said...

bravo!! well said!

even though we know the mommy business we ARE so much more. and that makes life fabulous, regardless of all the other crap.

10:43 AM  

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