Monday, October 03, 2005

Senior Smack Down!

I was going to write about how when I went into the MAC Cosmetics store this weekend for some eye shadow refills and a new brush, I discovered a whole room full of other girls who, like me, clearly believe they are big old drag queens.

But I got dissed by an otherwise perfectly friendly old lady at the bank, and that just takes precedence.

Charlotte was squirming and babbling cutely and climbing me as I waited in line, with Simon weaving figure 8s around the rope-divider-pole thingies, totally not obnoxiously. But this type of behavior is difficult to ignore, particularly when the children are as charming as mine (hee), so we usually make friends with several older folks whenever we spend time at the bank.

So perfectly friendly old lady gets to her teller window just as I get to mine (Jim, the fellow who obviously has a big old, sad crush on me. Not bragging. Just saying.), and she's making conversation and asking about Charlotte, and I mention that Charlotte is turning one tomorrow. And everyone around expresses congratulations as well as disbelief, because Charlotte is just so teensy weensy. So I say, yes, she has always been little bitty. She's just a petite little thing.

And then it happens.

Otherwise perfectly friendly old lady says, "And she came from you?!"

!!!

Excuse me, but WHAT THE FUCK?!

Am I Jabba the Hut over here?!? (Actually, I guess I'd be Gardula the Hut, because she is the female Hut from the recent SW films, and I've just revealed to you exactly HOW giant a nerd I really am.)(And a humongous nerd I may be, but I'm not a freaking HUT!!!)

Little old lady just called me a fat ass! To my face! In front of Jim, the 53 year old bank teller who crushes on me! And cute gay Todd, the snappily-dressed drive-through teller whose approval I am trying so hard to win! And everyone else!

I know she wasn't saying I'm tall, because I'm 5'2, people.

I'm a Hut.

Jesus. And I kind of thought I was lookin' alright today.

4 Comments:

Blogger Tracy Lynn said...

Man! You totally cannot take that old lady seriously. Maybe she has senile dementia? Or retinal atrophy? Gotta be something, girl. Just shake it off!

2:20 PM  
Blogger yucaree said...

okay, so not funny that she said that (why would anyone say such a thing?!), but i had to laugh at your hutt comment! not only do i know exactly who you're talking about from sw (episode 1) but i've seen pictures of you -- you're much much prettier and soooooooo much skinnier than a hutt! not to worry, my dear.

4:46 PM  
Blogger _Summer_ said...

OOF!

So sorry.

7:32 AM  
Blogger grudge girl said...

Dang. You guys are nice!

2:26 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home