Strange Girl

Top Ten Weird Things About Me

10. Some days I eat nothing but chocolate and coffee.

9. I often think I'm really a gay man in a woman's body.

8. I can't fall asleep with the closet door open because the monsters might get me.

7. I bite my toenails.

6. Sometimes I listen to the TV on the car radio. Even "America's Funniest Home Videos," which I would never watch on the actual TV.

5. I cry tears of queerness when I watch cheerleading competitions, because I'm just so darn proud of those hardworking kids.

4. I can make myself believe my own lies.

3. I love to smell my husband's forehead. Mmmmm... sunshiney!

2. I have ESP. Sometimes.

1. I am terrified of Chuck Woolery.