Freaking Out

I have been walking around for 2 days with tears in my eyes.

I am seriously freaked out.

WHAT IS GOING ON? It has become excruciating for me to watch the news, or even to listen to my beloved NPR. I just end up crying. What. The. Hell.

And why was that ASS Bush on TV in his crisp little suit reassuring Americans about gas prices, and taking the time to officially appoint his daddy and Clinton (who I wish would've spoken, because he has a way of making me feel better - like somebody capable is in charge) to fundraise? WHY didn't he say something about how they're going to help those poor people in New Orleans escape the horror? THAT'S what I wanted to know about!!! Does he think we really care more about fucking gas prices than poor little old people in their Depends, lying on the street and overheated, dehydrated, dying babies and hospital patients languishing for wont of escape, and somebody's freaking DEAD grandma in her wheelchair, covered with a blanket and pushed up against the wall of the convention center to rot?

He needs to get his assy ass down to the situation in his fucking jeans and shirt sleeves and dig IN!

And if they can get news people in there, they can sure as hell get some more busses and supplies in. I mean WHAT! THE! FUCK! IS! GOING! ON!!!!!????!!!!!

I am a raw nerve, and I seriously cannot stop crying.

I have decided that it is the flip side of the reason for this site. That emotional thing that prevents me from ever getting over things, and makes me react so violently to treatment that other people might laugh off. The flip side of that is that people's suffering touches me so intensely that I can't stop crying. I am seriously finding it difficult to live my normal life.

And though the anger thing cripples me in many ways, I think my compassion is a gift. I just don't know what to do with it yet. Except cry and pray for those people.